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"Homelessness happened for a few reasons. Some are:
After letting Mam down so badly I always felt guilty about having a beautiful home and family around me... Mam needed this more than ever and I didn't deserve it.
Then there was the wider family watching me being constantly ripped to shreds by our local authority. They slandered me and lied about me. They portrayed me as an evil person. I could not believe that strangers could change your life like this. No one believed me, I was always deemed as the vexatious daughter.
I began to realise that my family were better off without me. I was causing them so much pain and turmoil. It was not fair for them. They were watching me mentally die and I was watching them watching me. And no one was watching Mam anymore.
The day I received the letter from the local authority lawyer saying that she had invited Mam's abuser to the contact hearings was the last straw. I fainted, knocked myself out, and my daughter found me. I had been sick. Unfortunately, I had been looking after her two children at the time. This was when she said that as we cannot guess what letters or emails or phone calls I may receive or the effect it may have on me. I wasn't allowed to look after my grandchildren anymore either.
That was the final straw really, I was being a terrible Mam, I had let my Mam down, so was a terrible daughter and now I cannot be a Grandma anymore either.
I left about a month or so after that.
I had gone AWOL for extended periods prior to this. The first time was the death of the poor care home resident. I just couldn't come home after being at Mam's care home with social workers Alison and Louise (from the local authority and NHS). I felt ashamed of what I had let happen. I couldn't face my family after letting that happen.
I just felt like such a Judas, I felt I had let everyone down. I couldn’t believe I had let someone die because of my lack of efforts. I still to this day cannot believe that I let that happen.
I could go on but those are the main reasons".
Nina